How to Find Your Purpose

About 6 years ago, I remember sitting my my 2-bedroom apartment in Houston, TX literally crying out to God concerning my purpose on earth. I was in one of the lowest places in my life, and I needed answers. My life had become a pattern of going to work, going to the gym, going to church, eating, sleeping, and repeating. There had to be more to life and my, then, situation.

I won’t assume that everyone reading this post knows my story. So, let me give you the cliff notes version...

A year prior to this “meltdown,” I had lost my father to a two year battle with pancreatic cancer. (#CancerSucks) His death was a mere 2 months before my graduation from grad school. And, literally 2 weeks or so after graduation, I found myself on a plane heading halfway across the country to start my working adult life. Despite my desire to drop out of school to waddle in depression and, essentially, do nothing with my life, I graduated. As touching as it would sound, I didn’t graduate to make my dad proud. (Although, our last conversation was about me finishing school.) Instead it was because I had signed a job offer that was contingent on me completing my program. So, I sucked it up, finished, and kept on trucking with life.

Needless to say, my family and program director were concerned about my well being. I literally didn’t have time to mourn or sink into depression. Not to say that I wasn’t sad, because honey I cried rivers then and for years to come, but I couldn’t settle in that. Hindsight 20/20, that was probably the best thing for my life. Had I quit school and moved back home, I’d probably not be where I am today.

To shake things up even more, I was in the tail end of a crumbling relationships that I had been in since high school. So while I’m coping with a terminally ill parent, I dealing with "other girl" problems and foolishness. Talk about drama!! My life was basically a mess.

So, the time I cried out to God, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I couldn’t continue down the path of nothingness that I was on and I sure as heck wasn’t about to wake up 30 years later hating my life and having a bunch of “should of, could of, would of’s.” Sound familiar?

“God why am I here?? What am I supposed to do with my life??”

Pressed for an answer after asking this many times, I flipped open my bible. I ended up in 1 Timothy, chapter 4. 

There it was. 

Within those versus, 12-16 to be exact, God made it plain:

“...set the example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity. (v.12)”

In that moment, I understood that everything that I had been through and was currently going through was for my purpose! If God would see me through the mess that I was in and give me the wisdom and knowledge to work my way into a better life, then I’d be sharing that message around the world.

I did and I still am. 

Over 100 countries, thousands of people, and 1 book later, I’ve been teaching (mostly) women, the lessons that got me out of that relationship and into a thriving marriage; out of $78K in student loan debt and into a place of financial overflow; and from not being happy with what I saw in the mirror to losing 30lbs and winning a state pageant title.

To many, my story sounds so simple. As though I just flipped opened a bible and had all of the answers to life. Let’s be real…that was definitely a climatic moment, but I wouldn’t have happened if:

  • 1. I wasn’t desperate enough to seek God, and 
  • 2. I wasn’t in a position to receive it.

Let that sink in for a moment.

If I were content with life that way it was-- just cruising along-- I would have never gotten to a point where I needed to find an alternative to the status quo. That discontentment, that tension, that longing for more made me open to receive whatever answer God had for me.

You see, the key to finding my purpose was embracing disruption.

When I allowed those major disruptions in my life to make me uncomfortable and even angry, I had no choice but to seek God for His divine plan for my life. My life the way it was obviously wasn’t working and the omniscient God had to have a solution.

In her book, Believe Bigger, Marshawn Evans Daniels calls this disruption your “split rock moment” in your life. It’s the moment “that intentionally strips, strengthens, steers, and supplies us for greater purpose, if we will get out of God’s way and let him have His way.”

It’s the moment “that intentionally strips, strengthens, steers, and supplies us for greater purpose, if we will get out of God’s way and let him have His way.”

What’s your split rock moment?

I love how candid Marshawn is in her book as she shares that her moment was when, 6 days before her wedding, she found out that her fiance’ had been having a long term affair. I li-te-ra-lly screamed when I read that part of the book, because I knew EXACTLY how that felt!! 

Ok... maybe I wasn’t canceling a wedding, but the hurt, betrayal, and, need I say, embarrassment is all the same! Yet, without those moments, we would have never relinquished our present for our future. 

One of my favorite quotes from the book is, “God won’t bless where you no longer belong.” If you’re in a season where you just feel like everything is going wrong and nothing is working for you...perhaps it is your season of disruption. Maybe God is trying to break you away from your current situation so that you can enter in to your purpose. That “disturbance in the force” should be your clue to ask God, “What do you have purposed for my life?”

I have to be clear that beyond embracing that disruption as a catalyst for change, I had to go through a process. Disruption and discontentment was just the start of it.

In order for me to actually hear God speaking to me, I had to position myself to hear.

How many times have was demanded an answer from God, only to not get a response? 

I’m raising my hand with you. 

I was taught that, “You can ask the question, but you can’t demand a response.” I wholeheartedly believe that this is true; however, I also believe that there are times when God is speaking to us, but we just haven’t positioned ourselves to hear Him.

What do I mean by that? Well, we’re distracted. And, it’s not that we’ve intentionally blocked God out, it’s that we haven’t intentionally let Him in.

it’s not that we’ve intentionally blocked God out, it’s that we haven’t intentionally let Him in.

Oooo she preachin’.

We cannot hear God with a phone stuck in our hand, buds in our ears, eyes glued to a TV, or by always being around people. I realized that my disruption of moving across the country was God isolating me so that I could be in position to hear Him.

Let’s be real, I had no friends in Houston. Yea, I had coworkers who later became friends, but for the most part, I was at home by myself. #antisocial I could hear God because He wasn’t vying for time from something or someone else.

What’s got your attention? Better yet, who has your attention?

Very close behind embracing your disruptions to find your purpose is getting rid of distractions. I wholeheartedly believe if more people would step away and position themselves to hear God, a lot more people would be walking in purpose. We say that distraction is the enemy, and I certainly believe he uses that tactic; however, I also believe that distraction has become our own self detriment….our own self sabotage, so to speak. 

So here are some things you should know about purpose…

First, it’s necessary for us to live a fulfilling and impactful life. There’s no sense in achieving accolades and acquiring things and titles if they don’t culminate to a substantial, generational, Kingdom impact in the earth. Let me put it another way-- Don’t waste your time on earth in meaningless pursuit.

Secondly, when you decide to walk in purpose, you relinquish the idea of what you want your life to look like in exchange for what God wants your life to look like. And, believe me, His idea is way better.

Lastly, purpose is a journey. Discovering your purpose is just the start, living your purpose is the mission. It’s living each day with intention and making advancements toward a greater goal.

I’m sure you’re reading this because you want to discover your purpose. Maybe you’ve found yourself in a disruptive season and need to understand how to go forward. You know that there’s more to life, but you just don’t know what it is… You now know the key, but you need to know how to execute… 

I don’t want to leave you hanging. And because this topic can get deep, I want to leave you with some greater resources that will continue walking you through this journey.

  • 1. Join my 7-day Refresh & Reset Challenge. This course is designed to walk you through the phases (remember it’s a process) of discovering your purpose while allowing you to hit the reset button on life. Hear what others who have taken it have said about it here.
  • 2. Pre-order your copy of the Believe Bigger book by Marshawn Evans Daniels, aka my mentor in my head. This book is another tool for discovering your purpose that goes hand in hand with the course. Each purchase comes with some amazing bonuses, so definitely check them out. You can find all the information that you need to pre-order here.
  • 3. Enter my GIVEAWAY! I’ll also be giving away 3 copies of Marshawn's book!! To enter, grab a copy of my FREE ebook, Jump Start your Dream Life, here. Follow the instructions to upgrade to VIP by midnight (EST) on March 12 and you’ll be entered. Winners will be announced via Instagram (@girltalkwithfo) on March 13th and contacted via email. 

Discovering your purpose is the most amazing thing that you can do for your life. I'm a testament to that. I can only hope that I can help you on your journey to impacting those that you are assigned to.